By Urszula Lusk, Director, Veritas Recruitment
Over coffee in our office kitchen mid last year, I happened to ask someone in my team who I noticed hadn’t been themselves if they were okay. Turns out they weren’t. It wasn’t the first time I’d asked them, and I wasn’t the only one. But I kept asking and this one time they opened up to me.
Sadly, this was not my first experience with managing a mental health episode. And I very much doubt it will be my last.
Over the last 18 years I have had the honour and pleasure of being a mentor, coach, leader and manager. It’s been extremely rewarding. Watching people succeed in life and at work, watching them grow and seeing them progress has been wonderful.
It’s easy to celebrate the good times, it’s easy to talk about the wins, it’s easy to share success stories. The laughs, the banter, the positive conversations, the high fives – that’s easy.
But things aren’t always easy.
There are challenging times and there are obstacles that we all, at some point, will face – some will be obvious, but many will be hidden behind a fake smile.
I’ve learnt a lot about mental health, it’s impact on the individual and their wider networks. I’m still learning and there is still so much I don’t know.
What I do know for certain is that most of us at some point in our lives will be either directly or indirectly affected by mental health challenges. It may be a short-term episode, or it could turn out to be an ongoing, more complex experience.
Being responsible for a team means you take the good with the bad. I believe it’s my duty of care to make sure I look out for everyone, to watch for signs, to notice changes, to trust my gut and most importantly to take action. And I ensure that I steer the way, to foster and encourage a culture where the hard, not so easy conversations are had.
So what do you do when the answer is no?
From managing people with stress, anxiety or depression to managing people coping with ongoing and complex mental health conditions, every situation is unique, which means there is no one size fits all approach.
But in my experience, even though I’m not a trained psychologist, I believe it’s important to offer a sounding board, to offer support and to show compassion and empathy. In short, to genuinely care for the whole person.
Thankfully, once someone has opened up it’s easier to know what you’re dealing with and how you can help.
Only then are you able to create a plan tailored first and foremost to care for the individual, to make sure they seek expert advice, to encourage them to reach out to close family and friends and to be with them every step of the way if that’s what they need.
In the past, we have adjusted work responsibilities and hours of work. We have provided life coaches and private counselling services, and we have an EAP program. At times, we have also provided those impacted with a complete work break.
As leaders, educating yourself on the individual condition, its triggers and symptoms is also crucial.
In one particular situation, I called upon workplace mental wellbeing expert and co-founder of the RUOK charity Graeme Cowan for invaluable advice. He was wonderful. There are a vast number of online resources available offering insights and support.
When the condition can impact on the team and with the consent of the individual affected, we have found it beneficial to inform key team members for extra support. But there are some people that just don’t ‘get it’.
Earlier this year we invited George Laggis as a representative from Beyond Blue to come and tell his story and to help reduce the ongoing stigma around mental health. We wanted our team to have the tools to recognise in themselves and each other when they’re not feeling themselves, to recognise when they need a break and to feel like they can discuss with our leadership team how they are feeling, knowing we will support them.
We often spend more time at work than we do at home and it’s important we all feel part of a trusted community where everyone’s connected.
Over the years, I have seen a lot of our colleagues go through their battles and we have supported and assisted each other. We have also all been there when mental health has impacted us from a personal perspective. And if there’s a silver lining, it’s that these tough, hard moments, these hard conversations, have really brought us all together.
Too close to home
The impact mental health has on the individual and their wider network is real. It’s far reaching, and it doesn’t go away. This is one thing I know for sure.
My family lost a dear friend to suicide in 2013. He was 36, he had a beautiful partner and two gorgeous children. We missed the signs.
Six weeks ago, my 13-year-old daughter came home crying after an education piece on mental health at school. She was eight when PJ took this life. Six years later, the school conversation had opened a wound that hasn’t healed for her. It hasn’t healed for any of us.
My husband and I have always wondered, and I think we always will, what if we asked him RU OK? The endless ‘what ifs’ for those left behind.
Watch for changes, even the smallest ones, trust your instincts and ask RU OK? And if that doesn’t work, ask again. Never, ever give up asking RU OK?
Dedicated to our wonderful friend PJ who took this own life and in doing so forever changed the lives of many others. We love you and miss you. Martin, Urszula & Sophia.
#RUOKDay
#TrusttheSigns
#BeyondBlue
